My name is William Marotta. I write the blog called Choose Freedom. I hope that some of you are reading this for the first time. I hope that there are some of you that have read every single post of mine in hopes to find some freedom of your own. I have never posted entries this close together. I have never once sat down in the emotional state that I am currently in and wrote something for the general public to read. I am exhausted, angry, irrational & most importantly, #Lost. I took a few hours today to go back and read everything I have written on this blog & i think what has created so much thought in my mind is the titles of each post. I have been unchained from addiction. I believe as a generation we are at war & completely undefined. I have shown the world Ryan, Amanda & Brandon. I speak up. Our system is broken. I continue to scream & definitely fed up. So I ask just this once, is this thing on? Can people hear me?
I was on the phone with Katrin O’Leary this morning. I called her because I was again approached about working for a treatment center that I feel is very unethical. I continue to make it clear, but I feel like people aren’t listening. Why would any honest person accept a position over Facebook? Anyway, I was crying while asking for advice and she did not have any. She said it is going to get worse before it gets better. I hated hearing that, but she is very accurate in saying that. I feel like I need to say this for the general public to understand. Please stop sending your loved ones to treatment centers that you know nothing about. There are always exceptions. If Katrin told me a place is expectional I do not even hesitate because I trust her with my life.
Here is another thing. Can someone please explain to me how these treatment center owners have so much time to flaunt their brand new cars & luxurious lifestyles? I know that people are reading this and laughing, so I want to explain. I am sure most of you know who Chad Sabora is. If you talk to me for than five seconds, you probably understand that I look up to him more than almost anyone in the recovery community. I am going to say this in hopes that I do not upset him if he reads this. I am fairly certain you can count on one hand the number of pictures he has where he is dressed up in a suit. Why is that relevant to this conversation? We spend all our time saying politicians are corrupt and then people want to dress just like them. Chad has spent his life fighting WITH the still suffering addict. If I could pick one reason as to why he is the type of leader he is, its because that! Addicts spend their whole run in active addiction completely broken, ashamed & helpless. Chad still uses his experience in early recovery to relate and for that, I will always trust his experience and action.
I do not talk about Chad or Katrin because I feel like I deserve to be in the same conversation as them, because I dont. They have come before me, they are continuing to pave the way & without them, my generation would be lost. I know that does not scare people. I get it. I think I have just reached a point of no longer being comfortable with the idea this epidemic going in the history books. I know that there are people who feel the same way I do. Just not enough people. I continue to repeat myself, we are fighting a war against insurance & pharmaceutical companies that have millions of dollars and no moral compass. We are fighting with with experience, scars, bruises & faded track marks. Even worse, we are now fighting we the emotion of the loved ones we have lost. Cindy King-Anderson runs a fairly new non-profit called Sean’s Bridge to Hope. She lost her son in May of 2015. The story use to just stop there until our generation is now starting to cause more of a problem. Sean left behind a heroin-addicted new born. This has never been a fair fight, but the ripple effect is showing the capability of how bad this can be. Cindy is an admin on my page. She recently started her Facebook page as well. Hopefully y’all take the time to check it out.
We are #Lost. There is no doubt about it. We continue to overlook the tiniest things. I posted a status that said I was removing myself from the world today to take time for myself. Someone made a comment that I eventually deleted that tried to compare where I am at today with where I was at in active addiction. I couldn’t help but laugh. If you are reading this sir, the phone that is in your hand I would have stolen three days ago if I was in active addiction. So no, this is not the same thing. I talk to Jessica Purdy pretty much all day. She made a joke that I could breathe for a few hours if I agreed to take the night shift. She has been working endlessly to help people in my hometown. She does not get enough credit for what she has done. I was talking to her at midnight last night. She responded to me at 2 am. I responded to her at 4. She responded back at 6. We talked on the phone at 7 am. She was in the hospital one day last week with a kid that overdosed, did an intervention & prevented another kid from leaving treatment for just one more day. By the way, none of those things were planned. She has kids, a significant other & pet rats to take care of at home. When it comes to creating change she is giving people like me a chance to speak up. I do not say all of that to make people feel smaller about what they are doing, but why are we up in arms when we need to cancel plans because a kid needs help? I can’t speak for everyone, but not only did I not follow through on any plans while I was getting high, I just didn’t show up.
I said it the other day. The time isn’t now, it was years ago. Look around & pick your head up. Audrey Porter legitimately gives her LIFE to helping people. MaryBeth Cichocki is out on the firing lines every day with tears still running down her face from the loss of her son. How is it possible that no one is willing to listen? Do people think I just picked these names out of nowhere? Let’s be real here. We have the biggest names in advocacy EVER, yet our generation is somehow finding a way to even complicate that. Blood-thirsty marketers prey on people who search the Internet for help, then they sell the facility and promise you three packs of smokes & you’re on your way. 28.5 days later they hope you slip up because they will then get another referral bonus for your trip back to detox.
This has never been about popularity to me. It doesn’t matter how many times this gets shared or liked. This is war. Its getting closer & closer to being ever so clear that we need to separate the honest from the corrupt. Families deserve to know what’s going on. Families deserve to know that their kids are in good hands. I continue to challenge people. I absolutely love the turnout that has come from it. We’ve gotten hundreds of messages asking how to help. We’ve gotten phone calls & emails demanding to be a part of it. Jessica Purdy says she isn’t done just yet. She started a revolution in my mind & it is only a matter of time now before the light shines bright enough on the crooks to make them disappear.
I will leave you with this as I sign off this post on a Saturday night where I hope to inform just one family to do research. Funerals have come & gone. My friends are no longer here & I no longer have the emotional stamina to continue burying my friends. Jessica & I started out to create change and this is where it starts. If you’re reading this and ready to be a part of this change here is your homework; go to the Choose Freedom Facebook page, like us, and send a message with your name & email address. Want to be part of a revolution? Stand up and take action.
Again, my name is William.
–thanks for letting me share
Want to be heard? Reach out
Want help? Reach out
Personal Page: William Marotta
Blog Page: Choose Freedom