#Lost

Hello,
         My name is William Marotta. I write the blog called Choose Freedom. I hope that some of you are reading this for the first time. I hope that there are some of you that have read every single post of mine in hopes to find some freedom of your own. I have never posted entries this close together. I have never once sat down in the emotional state that I am currently in and wrote something for the general public to read. I am exhausted, angry, irrational & most importantly, #Lost. I took a few hours today to go back and read everything I have written on this blog & i think what has created so much thought in my mind is the titles of each post. I have been unchained from addiction. I believe as a generation we are at war & completely undefined. I have shown the world Ryan, Amanda & Brandon. I speak up. Our system is broken. I continue to scream & definitely fed up. So I ask just this once, is this thing on? Can people hear me? 
           I was on the phone with Katrin O’Leary this morning. I called her because I was again approached about working for a treatment center that I feel is very unethical. I continue to make it clear, but I feel like people aren’t listening. Why would any honest person accept a position over Facebook? Anyway, I was crying while asking for advice and she did not have any. She said it is going to get worse before it gets better. I hated hearing that, but she is very accurate in saying that. I feel like I need to say this for the general public to understand. Please stop sending your loved ones to treatment centers that you know nothing about. There are always exceptions. If Katrin told me a place is expectional I do not even hesitate because I trust her with my life.

          Here is another thing. Can someone please explain to me how these treatment center owners have so much time to flaunt their brand new cars & luxurious lifestyles? I know that people are reading this and laughing, so I want to explain. I am sure most of you know who Chad Sabora is. If you talk to me for than five seconds, you probably understand that I look up to him more than almost anyone in the recovery community. I am going to say this in hopes that I do not upset him if he reads this. I am fairly certain you can count on one hand the number of pictures he has where he is dressed up in a suit. Why is that relevant to this conversation? We spend all our time saying politicians are corrupt and then people want to dress just like them. Chad has spent his life fighting WITH the still suffering addict. If I could pick one reason as to why he is the type of leader he is, its because that! Addicts spend their whole run in active addiction completely broken, ashamed & helpless. Chad still uses his experience in early recovery to relate and for that, I will always trust his experience and action.


          I do not talk about Chad or Katrin because I feel like I deserve to be in the same conversation as them, because I dont. They have come before me, they are continuing to pave the way & without them, my generation would be lost. I know that does not scare people. I get it. I think I have just reached a point of no longer being comfortable with the idea this epidemic going in the history books. I know that there are people who feel the same way I do. Just not enough people. I continue to repeat myself, we are fighting a war against insurance & pharmaceutical companies that have millions of dollars and no moral compass. We are fighting with with experience, scars, bruises & faded track marks. Even worse, we are now fighting we the emotion of the loved ones we have lost. Cindy King-Anderson runs a fairly new non-profit called Sean’s Bridge to Hope. She lost her son in May of 2015. The story use to just stop there until our generation is now starting to cause more of a problem. Sean left behind a heroin-addicted new born. This has never been a fair fight, but the ripple effect is showing the capability of how bad this can be. Cindy is an admin on my page. She recently started her Facebook page as well. Hopefully y’all take the time to check it out. 
            We are #Lost. There is no doubt about it. We continue to overlook the tiniest things. I posted a status that said I was removing myself from the world today to take time for myself. Someone made a comment that I eventually deleted that tried to compare where I am at today with where I was at in active addiction. I couldn’t help but laugh. If you are reading this sir, the phone that is in your hand I would have stolen three days ago if I was in active addiction. So no, this is not the same thing. I talk to Jessica Purdy pretty much all day. She made a joke that I could breathe for a few hours if I agreed to take the night shift. She has been working endlessly to help people in my hometown. She does not get enough credit for what she has done. I was talking to her at midnight last night. She responded to me at 2 am. I responded to her at 4. She responded back at 6. We talked on the phone at 7 am. She was in the hospital one day last week with a kid that overdosed, did an intervention & prevented another kid from leaving treatment for just one more day. By the way, none of those things were planned. She has kids, a significant other & pet rats to take care of at home. When it comes to creating change she is giving people like me a chance to speak up. I do not say all of that to make people feel smaller about what they are doing, but why are we up in arms when we need to cancel plans because a kid needs help? I can’t speak for everyone, but not only did I not follow through on any plans while I was getting high, I just didn’t show up. 
          I said it the other day. The time isn’t now, it was years ago. Look around & pick your head up. Audrey Porter legitimately gives her LIFE to helping people. MaryBeth Cichocki is out on the firing lines every day with tears still running down her face from the loss of her son. How is it possible that no one is willing to listen? Do people think I just picked these names out of nowhere? Let’s be real here. We have the biggest names in advocacy EVER, yet our generation is somehow finding a way to even complicate that. Blood-thirsty marketers prey on people who search the Internet for help, then they sell the facility and promise you three packs of smokes & you’re on your way. 28.5 days later they hope you slip up because they will then get another referral bonus for your trip back to detox. 
           This has never been about popularity to me. It doesn’t matter how many times this gets shared or liked. This is war. Its getting closer & closer to being ever so clear that we need to separate the honest from the corrupt. Families deserve to know what’s going on. Families deserve to know that their kids are in good hands. I continue to challenge people. I absolutely love the turnout that has come from it. We’ve gotten hundreds of messages asking how to help. We’ve gotten phone calls & emails demanding to be a part of it. Jessica Purdy says she isn’t done just yet. She started a revolution in my mind & it is only a matter of time now before the light shines bright enough on the crooks to make them disappear.


           I will leave you with this as I sign off this post on a Saturday night where I hope to inform just one family to do research. Funerals have come & gone. My friends are no longer here & I no longer have the emotional stamina to continue burying my friends. Jessica & I started out to create change and this is where it starts. If you’re reading this and ready to be a part of this change here is your homework; go to the Choose Freedom Facebook page, like us, and send a message with your name & email address. Want to be part of a revolution? Stand up and take action. 
Again, my name is William.
–thanks for letting me share

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Personal Page: William Marotta

Blog Page: Choose Freedom

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8 thoughts on “#Lost

  1. It honestly takes ALOT for me to cry and this just about did it! We’re tired! Fighting night and day for anyone in need that comes to us and even those we don’t even know in a situation that we’re tagged in on Facebook or the scholarship fund page etc!! Picking up the pieces of unethical marketers disasters that they have caused just to get kids back to their hometown safely before they die. Driving around at 3 am in places I would t go even when I was using!! You can never put a price tag on that!! You can never pay us enough for what we do! We do this on our own free will as advocates and we do not expect a dime only CHANGE!! That’s all we want is for people to have a chance at life!! I will forever drive a used car, buy clothes from the local good will, used shoes, and struggle to get change to get to work just to give someone hope so they don’t leave!! I can go on and on.. at the end of the day when I ace my head on my pillow and kiss my family god night, yup all 5 of my kids and my fiancé Scott, my dog and my pet rat (lol), I know I did my work for the day! If my phone rings at 2 am I’m back up and work in progress!! Is as advocates do not sleep! We do NOT get a break! Please I’m begging please, reach out to us! There is help! If we can’t find you immediate help we will atleast be the hope that you can recover! Do NOT give up!! We got you!! And if nobody told you they loved you today, God dammit we do!! #morewillberevealed

    Liked by 1 person

  2. William.What’s the deal man? I can’t read 3 sentences of any one of your post without my eyes and heart filling up…yes I even cry in my heart, my soul for the one’s begging for help, just to have doors slammed in their faces…all because of the great o’mighty dollar sign! I met a girl through some meeting/therapy classes I was court ordered a few years back…she was 25 but looked 12. At 15 She had ran away from a vile, dysfunctional family that did not even try to find her or bring her home.She quit school, slept in abandoned vehicles on the night’s noone offered her the couch and before she turned 18 she was full blown addict…crack, Meth, pills…anything to not be able to feel, that’s how she put it! At the time I met her she was still neck deep in addiction begging for help….she was signed up for all these little half-assed in house rehabs….two out of three of them were run by people IN ACTIVE ADDICTION! She somehow came up with a ” so-called” deposit to get into the only one that had a bed.First thing they did was take her into a meeting and explained to her that they realized she was court ordered and if she really wasn’t ready to get clean they’d understand. They wanted to set her up with a personal Dr of theirs….Do you see where I’m going with this story? I’ll skip to the ending….her stay at that evil place lasted 3 days, she was back on the streets…we missed her at the next 2 meetings and on the third one our counsler told us she had overdosed when she’d went back home in Mobile, Alabama to visit a sibling…took me awhile to process it in my mind….so sad, so unnecessary!
    I will always think how much she would’ve loved recovery if somebody had given a damn or at least half a chance!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These are the stories that break us and tear our hearts out of our chests. We can’t ask God,Why? This is happening everywhere and we need a state of emergency. We’ll never get that though. Maybe a virus but not a full blown disease killing off our kids and loved ones! I pray everyday for God to make a difference,like he did for me! I was blessed to be saved. Too many of my loved ones didn’t make it out. I won’t stop trying though. Anyone I can help I will,until the end. These corrupt places need to be brought down,Exposed. I was lucky to have attended some good rehabs in Cincy.11 total. I gained something from each one but never have I seen the corruption that’s happening today. Bless that poor girl! I pray she’s finally at peace. We have to have more legit facilities and places that care. There are even near the fraction needed to make a difference. We have to stand together and do everything we can to be heard! Rally for life! I’m tired of funerals😥😥Tonight I pray again,as I go to bed. Somebody listen to our voices and cries for help…..

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Brother, just be glad you have Katrin, Jessica, and Chad to talk to. They helped guide me when I was facing the same decision. They are the reason I can now write full-time for Discovery Institute and be a patient advocate for ANYONE regardless of where they go to treatment. No Louis Vuitton shoes or new luxury cars in that circle of trust. Those people have their hearts in the right spot and, frankly, I’m completely honored to know them.

    Liked by 2 people

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